[restingtree]

A few "wonder about our language" lines from a fiend in NYC. Hope you enjoy and ... whether its excess heat, floods, or drought your day still goes well. Thanks for being here.

Can you cry under water?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What disease did cured ham actually have?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

[Cattrix]

I loved the Alphabet and the Twinkle Twinkle the best... I DID sing them!!!

Regards
Cat

[nanacoon]

I love things like this that make you STOP and think... and sometimes burst out in a big belly laugh. Thanks RT. Bonnie

[Kaylagal]

I want to meet the person who authored the "bra and panties" quip! LOL

Thanks for the grins Restingtree!

Rhonda

[restingtree]

Nancoon. The bra and panties line came from a mature lady (65+) in NYC whose ex-husband was a business acquaintance. Always did like her better. She has an extraordinary mind and a wicked sense of humor. Thanks for asking.